Perfect Name: Tim Allen's Home Improvements

Tim Allen's Home Improvements in Alexandria (Ironically, the Yellow Pages has his phone number wrong; it should be 724-9330).

Unfortunate Name: John and Mary Smith

Yes, they're real. Met them tonight. Well, I met John and one of his kids.

Unfortunate Name: Melinda Boring

Thinking aloud, here. Seems like a tough gig to be a public speaker with a name like Melinda Boring.

Unfortunate Name: Lonnie Flower

Unfortunate Name: Joe Bastardi

Can this name be real? Read Joe Bastardi's column at accuweather.com. Also note that he says, "Ciao for now," just like me. Coincidence?

Fortunate or Unfortunate?

Matt Tallent.

Unfortunate Name: Mary Dilda

Mary Dilda, aerobatic pilot, will fly at the 2004 Indianapolis Air Show.

The air show happens every August or September at Mount Comfort Airport. Rated PG -- but only because of very loud noises.

Unfortunate Name: Billy Hill

Unfortunate Name, Useful New Word

Rewarded again for reading even the most mundane material that arrives by post! From the January-March 2004 issue of Peopletalk magazine: "...industry Sales and Operations Planning expert Dick Ling notes..."

Unfortunate Name: Rob Steele

If my name were "Rob Steele," I wouldn't be running for Congress. I would be a mega-villain.